Ten Terrible Ideas For Running Steampunk Events

There are three great struggles in literature: man versus man, man versus machine, amd man versus trying to figure out what the point of all these gears might be.

Now, as the people behind the world’s largest Steampunk event, we could give you a whole lot of suggestions and ideas about what to do if you want to run a great event. We thought we would take it from the opposite direction this time, though. So here are a bunch of utterly horrible ideas.

Note: We do not suggest using these ideas. They are really bad. So without further adieu, let me present…

Ten Terrible Ideas For Running Steampunk Events!

10. One of the great innovations of Steampunk is that its events tend to feature more performance and interactivity then traditional conventions. For one thing, people really love Steampunk bands. So figure this… If having one Steampunk band on good, having five Steampunk bands on stage the same time has got to be five times as good, right? So our recommendation is that you schedule all the performances to be in the same place at the same time. You can even make it a contest… The loudest band wins! Plus, you’ll make a fortune selling earplugs.

9. Steampunks love tea! To make them feel truly at home, brew a nice Earl Grey in the bathtub of each hotel room.

8. You can never go wrong with scones. We recommend replacing your main performance space with a 7 ton truckload of scones. As a pro tip, try not to do this more than one week out from the festival, or the scones will become inedible.  I mean, even more inedible than usual.

7. You should encourage your guests to socialize and meet each other. We recommend giving them all the wrong nametags. This way, they will spend the weekend talking to everyone else in a frantic attempt to find their own badges.

6. Actually, badges can get lost very easily. Be a courteous event organizer, and issue attendees with tattoos instead. It will take a little more time and money, but they won’t lose their badges!

5. If a mysterious blue police box appears in the center of your show, call the Daleks immediately.

4. Steampunks are time travelers, after all. Why not hold your event 100 years ago?

3. People love vendors. People love swimming pools and hotels. Why not put all your vendors into the swimming pool?

2. Give everyone a complementary magnum of absinthe. What could possibly go wrong?

1.  Pave over the parking lot. REAL Steampunks obviously do not use cars. If they don’t have an airship, they should go somewhere else.

very truly yours,

Jeff Mach / Jeff Mach Events

Welcome to The Steampunk World’s Fair

Jeff Mach‘s Steampunk World’s Fair is the world’s largest Steampunk event!  All are welcome!

Jeff Mach's Steampunk World's Fair is the world's largest Steampunk event!  All are welcome!

We were just featured on The Syfy Channel’s Syfywire: 11 Unconventional Conventions You Have To Geek Out At, by Elizabeth Rayne.

Up next: Steampunk Halloween In The Catskills!

We’d like to thank everyone who attended this year’s event.  We’d love your feedback; please feel free to give it to us via our feedback form!

Next year’s event will be at the Radisson and Embassy Suites of Piscataway, New Jersey, May 4-6th, 2018. Hotel rooms are available at our popular overflow hotel and tickets are available now as well!

Want more Steampunk?  Get room, board, 5 gourmet meals, and an entire festival for $150 at our other show, Steampunk Halloween In The Catskills.

The Steampunk World’s Fair is the world’s largest Steampunk event, and it welcomes EVERYONE, from the most experienced to the curious.  Come on by!  We welcome you!

We’re going to be on Cake Boss!
Want to be a part of it?  Details here!

 See the 2017 schedule!

Please click here to view information on it.

Here’s just a little bit of last year:

Our famous catered open bar event, the Steampunk Social!  It’s only $29 now; it’ll be $40 at the door.  So get yours today!

Come join in and compete in our Costume Contest!

For families with little ones, why not try out Galia’s Slightly Perilous Children’s Wonderland!

The Mad Hattress AzkadeliaThe Frills, Fancies and Ornamentalism of the British EmpireSteampunk Numerology, The Steampunk YogaSteam Bot Unity, Three Pints Shy, Gypsy Funk SquadMark P. DonnellySteampunk QuickDraw Competition, Mummy Unwrapping, Steambones Workshop.

The Steampunk Worlds Fair is also featuring

Internationally-acclaimed Steampunk author Gail Carriger

One of the world’s most beloved Steampunk Bands, Emperor Norton’s Stationary Marching Band

As well as members of the cast of ‘Steampunk’d‘ along with winner Steampunk Eddie!

We are pleased to welcome Amy Wilder and Thomas Willeford!

Attending with his Steampunk Roadster, Jake von Slatt!

Enjoy literally hundreds of hours of vendors, programming, shows, entertainment, and other things to see, hear, and experience!


Den of Sin Dinner

Den of Sin DinnerJoin us for food and entertainment, featuring the sinfully entertaining White Elephant Burlesque Society.

Celebrating 10th glorious years, “The White Elephant Burlesque Society” is a theatrical, fully realized inner circle of talented and ambitious burlesque performers. Each of them a headliner, WEBS members perform for audiences with an array of skill and talents.

The Den of Sin Dinner is an exclusive bonus for Steampunk World’s Fair 2017 and is our official burlesque event. Entry is permitted only for those who purchase the appropriate ticket add-on and space is limited for the venue.

Tickets are $60.

Friday, 8:00 pm – 10:00pm

Buy Tickets Now!


The Radisson Hotel Piscataway-Somerset
21 Kingsbridge Road, Piscataway NJ 08854
2018 rooms open on May 19th at 5 p.m. EST
Embassy Suites Piscataway
121 Centennial Avenue, Piscataway, NJ 08854
2018 rooms open on May 19th at 5 p.m. EST

Some rooms are likely to open up closer to SPWF, so keep checking back.
An official overerflow hotel is available. We are actively looking for more official overflow hotels.

Want to find out about our other adventures?
Check out the Jeff Mach Events website.

Dark Side of the Con

March 17-19, 2017
Radisson Hotel, Piscataway, New Jersey

Find out more at darksideofthecon.com