A Steampunk Holiday Word From Scrooge

A Steampunk Holiday Word From Scrooge

It's Steampunk Santa!

I think I speak for all grumpy old men of Steampunk when I say: “BAH!  HUMBUG!”

I suspect that the next entry here will contain some kind of holiday cheer.  For everyone who’s up for that sort of poppycock, you should probably check tomorrow’s entry.  But for now, let me give you some of the benefits of using Steampunk to avoid the holiday season.

7 Some people are dreaming of a snowy white Christmas.  I dread that, my thought, which is precisely why I have my Steam-Powered Weather Alteration Device set to “Volcano.

6. Want to avoid awkward conversations at dinner?  Just show up in your full Steampunk garb, complete with an assortment of weaponry.  Everything becomes much more polite.

5. Don’t want to give presents?  Just do what I do… give everyone tickets to events that have already happened.  If they’re too lazy to own time machines, that’s on them.

4. Food coma from too much turkey and other festive food?  Just slip your goggles off your top hat and over your eyes, and nobody will know you’re asleep!

3.  Did Santa leave you a lump of coal?  That’s fine; you can just use it to stoke the boiler in your airship.  Then you can chase after his sleigh and get the GOOD presents.

2. Television wasn’t even invented in the Steampunk era, which is an excellent excuse not to watch “It’s A Wonderful Life” for the millionth time.

1. Remember, if anyone asks…you’re not a mean, nasty cuss; you’re just reproducing a beloved figure of the Victorian era – the one and only Ebenezer Scrooge!

(As told to Jeff Mach of Jeff Mach Events.)

“Oh! But he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner! Hard and sharp as flint, from which no steel had ever struck out generous fire; secret, and self-contained, and solitary as an oyster.”

~Charles Dickens

“I happen to LIKE oysters, thank you.”

~Ebenezer Scrooge

 

 

 

If one must turn towards the holiday season…

If one must turn towards the holiday season…

…then one should, at least, turn to The Men That Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing, the British chaps who put the “Punk” into Steampunk.

Now, the goal here is something for both those who love the holidays, and those who hate them. Because I’m not making a value judgment here.

If you love the winter holidays, then you’ll probably be ruddy enchanted by Steampunk’s take on the tale of Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge of “A Christmas Carol”.

And if you hate the winter holidays, then you’ll be absolutely delighted by this play on that most classic of holiday tales.

“Oh, Ebenezer, you cunning old geezer!”