Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are God. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are God. ~Christopher Hitchens
5. Do not attempt to put goggles on your cat. Your cat will eat them.
4. Do not attempt to put a top hat on your cat. Your cat will appear to be a “Dr. Seuss” character.
3. Do not attempt to convince your cat to emit steam. The fur smells terrible.
2. Do not allow your cat to use your time to flow through the pathaways of possible alternative chronotography, changing history to create a world where felines are our inevitable and only rulers.
1. Whoops. Too late.