Why You Should Read This Steampunk Blog

Airsi!cnanhcem phThere are lots of reasons to follow the many Steampunk blogs out there.  But this one, of course, is the best, because it comes with the best benefits.  Let me tell you of just a few of them:

  • I will teach you how to turn lead into gold. I’m just waiting ’til I get enough followers, and then I’ll reveal the Philosopher’s Stone. I think that also lets you live forever, though that may just be in Harry Potter.
  • You gain magical powers. Don’t be surprised if, after sharing enough of my writings, you find yourself able to fly or, in some cases, teleport. You’re welcome.
  • I have extremely adorable tentacles, which help me in my typing.  That’s how I can write so prolifically.
  • You will become utterly irresistible to amorous faeries, who will ply you with gifts of cheese and shiny things.
  • I will ply you with shiny things.
  • I am always totally and 100% serious.  None of that silly Steampunk for me.  Hardcore Serious, Serious, Serious Business – that’s me.
  • I will certify you as a True Steampunk.  You will know forever that you are the real deal – no more need you worry or wonder about whether something Is or Is Not Steampunk.  By the powers vested in me by having listened to Dr. Steel’s “Build The Robots” 12,500 times, I now have the power to make things official.
  • I am actually made out of adorable puppies.
  • You will find that people will begin to think you’re wearing goggles on your forehead even when no such goggles exist. That is the Power of Steampunk.
  • Did I mention the shiny things?

~Jeff Mach

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Jeff Mach runs Jeff Mach Events, which in turn runs the world’s largest Steampunk event, The Steampunk World’s Fair; the peculiar Faerie festival Glimmerdark, and co-runs Dark Side Of The Con (with VampireFreaks).  He’s on Twitter @steamworldsfair.

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